


you and i are suicide and stolen art

by DreamWritings



Category: Original Work
Genre: Coming Out, First Kiss, High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Not Beta Read, Peer Pressure, Temporarily Closeted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25065166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamWritings/pseuds/DreamWritings
Summary: Peer pressure can get the best of some of us. It almost killed me.But real heroes don't wear capes.*unedited*
Relationships: Myles Bricch/Warren Marr, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 2





	you and i are suicide and stolen art

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING #1: Use of the f-slur. Even though I am "allowed" to say it (I'm bisexual), I prefer not to. It's only used once. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING #2: Suicidal undertones. The character doesn't want to commit suicide, but they are being forced to do it. 
> 
> This is unedited.  
> Title from the song, "bitches broken hearts" by Billie Eilish

**This is unedited. Just be aware of that.**

The wind was like a soft warning. A warning that told me if I didn't jump now, I never would. And that made me a coward, according to the group of teenagers who stood behind me, shouting and chanting. I heard it loud and clear, yet I didn't jump. I didn't want to. 

"Go, Myles! Do it for the ladies!" Yelled Finn, who was exactly what one would expect from a boy his age. Make of that what you will. I was lucky I was facing away from them, for I couldn't contain the monstrous eye roll that made my eyelids flutter. "Don't you want to catch the eye of Calla? She'll never notice you if you don't do this." A complete and utter lie and I knew it. She was there with him. Of course she noticed me.

I couldn't imagine the look on her face. 

I never even thought it would come down to this, the pounding of my heart being the only thing keeping me from listening to Finn. It started at a party—at Finn's house, of course—where someone (guess who?) promised me they would snatch me a date with Calla Karlson if I jumped from a high place of their choice. 

That place wasn't supposed to be an overpass, with cars rushing past just below me. 

What unsettled me even more was the fact that none of them were stopping. I would. Even if it was Finn in my position, and I hated his stupid ass. 

Besides, I didn't even like Calla. Sure, she was pretty, but I didn't like her like that. I never would like her like that. There was only one person filling that space in my heart. Warren Marr. We were school friends, frequent partners for English projects. Just thinking about him then made my heart race. I couldn't stop the heat that rushed to my cheeks, despite the wind. 

But Finn, like the guy he was, was accusing me of being gay. When I denied it, he only urged me to prove it. 

"How would I do that?" I had asked. 

"Okay...who do you like?"

In the moment, the first girl I thought of to lie with was Calla. Everyone had a crush on Calla. "Calla Karlson."

"Prove that, too."

I gave him a look that said, _give me a way, asshole._

"Do something crazy. Jump from a super high place or something and I'll set you up on a date with her." 

"Name a place."

That was only hours before. Now, he gripped the railing for dear life and couldn't do anything about it other than try and keep on bearing it. I risked a glance over my shoulder. The small crowd was still there, pumping fists in the air and causing a scene. 

Still, no cars stopped. 

_ Maybe I should jump. _ The terrifying thought found its way into my mind and, before I got the chance to push it away, I was slipping. Adrenaline rushed through me in an instant. I flailed my arms through the air, desperate for something—anything—that would save me. I managed to grasp the railing just as I was about to plunge down. The relief that took over was something like a tsunami, flooding every part of me until I overflowed. 

The crowd behind me booed when I didn't fall. These people were sick. I couldn't stand it. 

"Don't be a pussy." Suddenly Finn's voice was coming closer. My grip tightened even more, to the point where my fingers were ghostly. "Unless you really are a faggot, like I suspected," a bark of laughter. "God, I am always right."

Hands clasped on my shoulders. A whisper in my ear, "I bet you do," The hands rubbed up and down my arms. Disgust rolled inside of me. "Come on, say it." He jerked me, mocking a push. A pathetic cry escaped my lips. I didn't want to die. Finn, along with everyone behind us, laughed. 

Tears welled up inside my eyes, clouding my vision. "Stop," I whispered. 

"Or _what_?" A threat, disguised as a question. I didn't answer, just let the tears fall as silently as I could. 

A honk. 

Then, several. Some were long lasting, some were short and sporadic. Sounds of a car driving up filled my ears. My heart squeezed in my chest. 

A car door opened, slammed. "What's going on?!" I recognized the voice. Embarrassment crawled up my spine in the form of a shiver. Suddenly, I was hyper aware of the way my entire body shook in a way that could have easily been mistaken as feverish. It was Warren. Of all people. "Finn? Get off of them!"

So he didn't know it was me. Not yet, at least. Finn grumbled something under his breath, but let go. I heard his footsteps walking away. I kept my grip. 

From the corner of my eye, I spotted Warren slowly approach the railing a decent distance away from me. I was standing on the other side of it, holding it from behind me. I didn't look at him. 

He inched closer. When he was finally right next to me, so close I could've shifted and our hands would have brushed, he whispered. "Myles? Is that you?"

With a shuddering breath, I nodded. I mustered the courage to turn my head. When I did, Warren was mere inches away. He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. 

"Come. We can talk about this at my house," a pause. "Don't do this. Please."

I listened, ducking underneath the railing to face him. We ignored the shouts from the group of students as he led me to his car, opening the passenger side door for me, like the gentleman he was. 

He drove off from the rest. Eventually, their cries faded away and we were left in silence, the only sound surrounding us being our breathing. 

He didn't try to start a conversation, but I did. Somewhat. 

"I'm sorry," I rasped. I realized I was still crying. God, I must have looked atrocious. "I didn't want to. They..." Where would I even begin to explain? I couldn't tell him I liked him, so I fed off of the lie I told Finn. "They told me that, if I jumped from somewhere high, they would set me up on a date with Calla Karlson. I didn't know they would choose there."

He heard Warren sigh. "I understand. I'm just glad you're here. Alive." Something in my stomach fluttered. 

"Thank you." I mumbled, heat pooling in my cheeks again.

A silence spanned out for a minute. Warren broke it. "What were all of you doing awake?"

"There was a party."

"Ah."

"Why were you out this late?"

"I was going to spend the night at a friends', but we had a fight. Nothing serious, but he freaked out. I thought it was best that I left." I had to stop myself from swooning right there. He was so... _good_ , even when he fought with friends. Certainly too good for me.

"Oh, okay." Was all I said. 

Warren cracked a small smile. "So, you didn't want to jump?" I shook my head. "Thank god. I don't know what I'd do if you died." He seemed to stop himself from saying more. 

"What do you mean? You can find another person to joke around with in English class." I joked. He didn't laugh. 

"I just," he hesitated. "I don't know. I thought we were friends?" It came out more as a question, uncertain. My heart lunged. I jumped up, straightening my posture. 

"We are friends!" I didn't know what else to say. This time, he did let out a small chuckle. "Really!"

"I believe you," He looked at me, and I nearly burst on the spot, letting a smile spread wide onto my face. His remained subtle, but it was there. 

The rest of the drive was spent talking. It was like the whispers we exchanged in class, only louder. I learned he hated fish, though I loved sushi. He scrunched his face up when he heard that. It was too adorable to make me mad. 

The topic of relationships came up. 

"All of my relationships seem to end badly." He said, pulling up to what I assumed was his driveway. We unbuckled our seat belts. "I've only ever dated two people, but they were both rocky relationships. I don't even think I liked either of them."

"Well, I've been single my entire life." I mocked pout, sticking my bottom lip out. 

"Tragic," Warren laughed. 

"I know. I disappoint my grandparents when they ask when I'm gonna," I put up air quotes, "'settle down' with someone." That made Warren laugh more. It was like alcohol. I became addicted to it. 

"You really are something else, Myles." He said after he calmed down. I ignored the pounding in my chest. 

"You're so nice. The ladies must love you."

Something flashed over his face. "I—" he stopped. "Actually," he smiled warmly, a question lingering somewhere in it. Or was it a plea? "I'm gay." 

My mind screamed. I just wanted to just kiss him until we both died, but I held back and widened my smile and said, "Oh, okay. The lads, then." 

He exhaled, relaxing in his chair. A comfortable quiet followed. 

Something in my brain decided to go solo. "I lied." I said. Warren turned to me, a puzzled look coming over his face. "I don't like Calla Karlson. That's just the lie I told Finn so he wouldn't know—" The part of my mind that the rest of my body was still aware of was sending alarms everywhere. The solo part ignored them and finished what I was about to say. "I don't like girls, either."

I couldn't meet his eyes. I'd said it. I'd told someone. "You're...now the only person that knows. Besides me."

Warren didn't respond right away. When he did, "Myles? Can I ask you something?" I laughed, mentally. He just had. I looked at him then. 

"Go ahead."  He leaned closer, his eyes searching my face. I grew self-conscious, but didn't move. 

"Can I kiss you?"

The question strikes me, hard. It wasn't a bad thing. My reply came as a sigh. "Yes." 

So he did. 

For a moment, neither of us did anything. It was just our mouths squished together, eyes closed. 

Then, after that moment, I tilted my head, not just kissing him. _Kissing_ him. 

His hands cupped my cheeks in a way that was so perfect I almost cried again. This time from happiness. His tongue found mine and I let it explore my mouth while I explored his. My hands, feeling awkward, held his waist tenderly, like he might break if I squeezed too hard. 

When we pulled away, my lips felt swollen and we were both breathing heavily. I could feel how red I was. Warren smiled. "I like you."

"You do?" We both laughed. his lips caught mine again and I didn't object.

"Go out with me?" He asked against my lips. 

"Hell yeah." I said against his. We pulled away again, resting our foreheads against each others'. "I like you too, by the way." He nodded. 

"Good."

Sitting like that for what felt like forever was like heaven on Earth. I wanted it to be forever. 

Because, in that moment, we were stars. And the rest of the world admired us. 

**Hope you enjoyed this thing I pulled out of my ass.**

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 3:00 am


End file.
